My lasko and I were born in a completely different world. He is in West, I was in East; different culture, traditions and belief. Since I met him in West, I tried to adjust in everything here, except for food. I will always be a rice eating girl wherever I go. Anyway, relationship here doesn't work as it is in my home country.
In the beginning of our relationship, I usually have the 'free time', as I worked as a freelancer and just have few classes to attend while he was busy with his thesis, work and other things. My only complaints during those time was his lack of interest in me, I felt completely neglected. When I meant neglected, I mean, he doesn't even ask whether I was alive or how's my day. I don't have to see him everyday, nor to be with him everyday, just a simple hello is fine. But no, it was always I who initiated the conversation. It pissed me off when I went back home to my country and he didn't even call me nor message me! Whenever I asked him if he loves me, he would say, maybe. Great answer isn't it? I asked why, he said, he wasn't sure. And he doesn't want to say "i love you" for the sake of saying it. Of course, i wouldn't want to hear it either if he doesn't mean it. But, why the hell he was with me if he doesn't. He said, he likes me. When he went for one month summer program, he was teasing me that I couldn't survive. I did. I took a full time job, since then, the table was turned.
I was joggling work and school, and I have less time for him. When I have time for him, he would usually sit in his chair and work on his laptop, he would invite me for pub, but he will walked around and leave me behind. He would invite me for so many events that he thought I'm interested with even I wasn't. He complained to me not having so much time, so even when I was so tired, and not interested, I would join him in some events, and also be out in the cold for star hunting.
I would cook for him everytime I go home from work, go for grocery when the fridge is empty, seriously, i felt like I got myself a husband to served. Just how much is enough time for boyfriend? As far as I know, boyfriend doesn't always have to see each other. Usually go out for a day 3-4 times a month? Am I thinking it wrong?
Lately, we went for a trip and we did nothing but fight. Mallorca was like a battlefield for us. Nobody wants to surrender; for 6 days - it was like that. Nobody wants to listen, nobody wants to understand.
I was hoping he would understand my situation, and he was hoping that I would understand his complaints. Everytime we would fight, i really believe that we aren't meant for each other. We are both stubborn and headstrong. I thought of breaking up with him couple of times because I cannot withstand a fight. I hate arguments. I hate conditions. I really hate it. But everytime I want a break up, he started being so nice and I lose my defenses, that maybe there's something more to him.. that maybe he will grow up, and that maybe we will both grow up together. When? I have no idea. I don't know how long that two of us will be together. Maybe until today, or maybe until tomorrow, tomorrow never ends anyway.